Oh, You Take My Breath Away
by caitythelioness
Summary: Once upon a time, Sam was young and sweet and naive. And he had a girlfriend who was pretty much the same. Take a walk in her shoes.


**Don't own anything Supernatural related, y'all relate? **

Oh, You Take My Breath Away 

Our love is like a circle. But not an ordinary circle; not a black mark on a white page. It is a circle with dimensions, more like a sphere but less refined; more like a bubble but less circumstantial. But, a circle I am sure that it is, enclosing a feeling and isolating a norm, but transparent enough to be seen.

Our love is like a dell; of bright blue sky and luminous green grass, of golden sunshine and clean air, of middle-aged trees that cast a shadow on the ground. You brought the blanket from your closet, the one that has the hole in the corner but smells like kindness and happy memories. You spread it out, smoothed out the wrinkles with your careful hands.

And so we lie. In our circular world of simple pleasures, and of love. The sun wants to set, but our will holds it in the sky. My face turned towards yours, you look at me in the way you did when we first came here; with concern and gentle wonder, with good feeling in your heart.

Your face gives way to your smile. I smiled when you reached out to secure my hair behind my ear, because you'd never done that before. And then I laughed because I love you – but you were worried because you thought you made me uncomfortable. I am never uncomfortable with you. You worry too much. You really are my happiness.

But I saw your hesitation, and I want you to know that I am content to be with you. You saw me in that old with dress with the rips and the stains and the tears and you still loved me. I will still think you are beautiful, even when you forget my name when age throws a curtain between us.

So you took me in your arms a while, and I feel sure and safe; in your arms, on your picnic rug. I listened to your heartbeat and you must have felt me breathing against your chest, until I realised that you needed holding more than I did. So now I feel you breathing, and you listened to my heart – knowing that it would beat for your ears only. Your head rested in my arms, and I marvelled at the mystery and possibility that I held. You shifted restlessly and I must be patient, because sometimes you need the reassurances I have already used.

You asked me if I loved you, so I moved so we lay side by side; woman and man, certain and unsure, your face close to mine. You know I can't lie to you. So when you looked for the truth in my eyes you saw it, and you didn't have to wonder anymore. You kissed me, with all the passion and tenderness and sweetness that you knew and that's when I realised you are the most beautiful and lovely thing in my whole entire life.

But then the afternoon waned and we had to take the car back before your brother knew it was gone. I wondered, for a while, why that car meant so much to him. We were always careful. But then the lens went full circle and I realised that it must be lonely in your house; just you and your brother and your father. And I wouldn't want to be so presumptuous to assume that I filled the void in your life, but I knew that your brother can't make sense of his emotions like you can so he spends most of his time getting drunk and restoring some other part of that beloved car.

And I respect your courage and sometimes I can't believe how fearless you are. You stand up to your father even though you are the youngest, where your brother silently complies. I know it's hard, I know it more than I can ever tell you or more than you can ever say But you inspire me. And because of you, a lot of things in my life are different.

You still walk with me to my door and you still hold my hand. You weren't shy until you realised my flatmate was there – then you had to kiss me on the cheek because such displays of love in public is prudent. But it doesn't offend me, because I know that you would be devastated to hurt me. So you drove off and I watched you from the window, but you came back – like you always do – and kissed me goodnight properly, with the right smile in your eyes and the right words on your tongue.

I sleep alright, even when you aren't next to me. Even when you leave for weeks on end and don't tell me where you are going. I worry, but I know that you carry a photo of me in your pocket and that makes me smile. I miss your warmth, but I love you and you know it, so everything in the world is good. And because you know it, I am not afraid.

And so this year meanders by, like a wandering river that slips away slowly but happily, splashing against far away shores. And sometimes we go walking, and you still let me put my arm around your wast and you put your arm about my shoulders. And so, we are always together, in peace and in love.

I know you love me. You don't say it much, but some things I just know. But if you wonder? I feel it when you touch me. And it makes me happy.

Our love is here, safe in our golden sunshine dell.


End file.
